My Descent into Insanity

The last will and testament of the rational mind of Dan Bell. What proceeds is the chronicle of my descent into insanity, down from whatever small modicum of sanity I had to begin with.

Tuesday

8:30 p.m. - Lindsey just left with her cousins. She’ll be gone the next couple days visiting family. I’ll miss her.

9:18 p.m. - Lacking anyone else to talk to, I told Mousetrap (our cat) about my latest contribution to the game. When I was done, she simply got up and walked away. Seems Mousetrap doesn’t want to hear about it anymore than Lindsey does.

10:32 p.m. - Bored, I told Mousetrap about the advantages and shortcomings of Capitalism. In response, she licked her butt. This proves, once and for all, that Mousetrap is indeed a Communist.

12:00 a.m. - For a change of pace, Mousetrap and I traded sleeping spots for tonight. She sprawled out over the bed, and I curled up in a tiny little ball on the pink chair. I woke up purring and licking my butt.

Wednesday

1:23 p.m. - Getting desperate for a job, I asked if Mousetrap would be willing to hire me. We even had an interview. She sat one side of the desk in her pink chair, and I sat opposite her, saying everything I could to try to convince her to give me a job. Eventually, she jumped over the desk, climbed into my lap and started purring. Presuming that meant I was hired, I asked her how much the job would pay. She responded by leading me over to her food dish. I’m not sure if that meant she would be paying me to replenish her catfood, or simply that she intended to pay me in catfood.

8-9 p.m. - After dinner, Mousetrap and I gave each other manicures. This was deeply disturbing to me, Mousetrap, and the majority of a small town in rural Arkansas, after I hacked their only television station and broadcast it to them via webcam.

Thursday

Sometime in the morning - I really have to ask myself: Why? Why do I sit here, tapping away at this thing with the buttons and the keys and the windows? WHY?!

A few minutes later - WHY DON’T YOU EVER TELL ME THE THINGS I REALLY NEED TO KNOW, COMPUTER?! WHY?!?!

(What’s this time thing again?) - We must kill the zombie rabbits! Hitler doesn’t want them building space stations!

Asparagus. Trousers. Lightbulbs. Habenshrodengooshdunen.

My New Favorite Hike

Fairy Falls. Photo Credit: Ned Fenimore

The latest hike I took became my instant favorite: Fairy Falls Hike. With Wakheena Falls at its trailhead, the beginning is very popular. The parking lot was actually full and we had to park up the road a bit and walk back. The first quarter-mile up to a bridge near the top of Wakheena is fairly crowded, however once you get past the bridge it is much less so.

After the bridge comes 11 switchbacks up the side of the mountain. Having read that these cover 600 vertical feet in just half a mile, we thought it was going to be pretty steep, but after the first couple it was fairly easy. Every once in a while on the way up the trees part, giving some amazing views of the river and gorge below.

At the very top of all these switchbacks, a little side trail leads to Lemmon's Viewpoint. It gives a spectacular view of the Gorge, and is a must-see on this trail.

Back on the main trail, it now turns and heads into Wakheena Canyon. This place is absolutely amazing. It's a fairly narrow canyon that doesn't have room for much besides the river and the trail. Every step of the trail is uphill, and its a fairly steep climb, but it is well worth it. The river beside the trail, which is occasionally crossed by the trail on footbridges, creates natural air conditioning for the trail. The river is a neverending series of cascades down the canyon, and it makes the canyon seem like one enormous, multi-step waterfall.

Periodically, little tributaries to the main river tumble down the canyon walls, crossing the path, and then continuing their way down the canyon to join the river. The canyon, the river, the path, and the little streams flowing over the path combine to create an absolutely beautiful area that I look forward to going to again and again.

And then the whole beautiful experience was climaxed by the top of our hike at Fairy Falls, shown in the photo above. There's a really nice bench there next to it, where Lindsey and I sat resting, eating a snack, and just absorbing the breathtaking view around us.

The trail crossed the river and continued further up the canyon, looping around Larch Mountain, and including several more waterfalls, including Multnomah itself, but we chose to stop there, and head back down.

On our way back down, Lindsey and I kept saying how this was our new favorite hike and how we'd be coming back often.

Waterfalls

Rodney Falls - Photo Credit: Julie Wyatt

Almost a year ago now, my then-girlfriend Lindsey told me that she was considering transferring from the school she was attending in Chicago, to a school in Portland, Oregon. She had said 'I can't ask you to come with me' but said I'd really like it there. At the time, I had no desire at all to go. But in the almost-five months that I've now lived here, I have come to absolutely love it here. And there's one thing here that fascinates and amazes me more than anything else: the waterfalls.

There are literally hundreds, and quite possibly even thousands of waterfalls at the nearby Columbia River Gorge. From the majestic and powerful Multnomah Falls, 620 feet tall with over a thousand gallons of water crashing down it every second, to the tiniest little streamlet trickling down a hill at the side of a hiking trail, waterfalls to me are one of the wonders of nature.

These things truly are breathtaking to me. Watching the water pour down a rock face, over the sides of a cliff, tumbling over boulders, or through a narrow gap between two sides of a canyon, I stand in awe, watching the water cascade in so many different shapes and forms, then see it splash down at the bottom. Then as I contemplate the sight of what I'm seeing, it strikes me how much water it takes. It's taking thousands of gallons of water to create every moment of this fantastic sight, and unimaginable quantities of it to maintain it permanently. I stand awestruck every time I visit one.

Of the larger waterfalls (the ones that have names, that is), I've probably been to about 15 or 20 so far. My "to-do list" of waterfalls includes a good dozen more that I haven't had a chance to see yet, not only around the Gorge but a few around Mount Hood as well. I take one of these trips when I have the time and the weather is cooperating. I get the opportunity about once a month or so. Seeing them often involves hikes that are a few miles round-trip, and are largely uphill to get to the waterfall, and the effort leaves me tired and sore by the time I get back, but its always worth it.

My most recent trip was to Beacon Rock State Park on the Washington side of the Gorge. At the end of this all-uphill hike is Rodney Falls, which is in the photo at the top of this blog entry. The view in the photo is from a bridge on the trail that passes over the waterfall. If you look closer at the photo, you'll notice near the top of the waterfall that there's a railing there. This is a look-out point for one feature of Rodney Falls that is so spectacular and incredible that it has its own - Pool of the Winds:

Pool of the Winds - Photo Credit: Steve Hart

Created a channel in the rocks at the top of Rodney Falls, the spray of water creates a rainbow of you're looking at it from the proper angle, as shows a bit in the photo. The cascading water in such a small space creates an air current that blows wind and spray out at you that makes it feel like an air conditioner is blowing in your face. Though I've only been here once so far, this is now one of my favorite places to go to in the Gorge.

So are so many beautiful places that I have trouble deciding where I want to go next. I can't wait for my next chance. Want to join me?